my body is a wonderland.

so this morning i woke up in terrible pain. i was certain. absolutely certain. that i was dying of food poisoning. i crawled my way out of bed and started panicking about my imminent demise. trying to figure out what exactly i had eaten. imagining how many days i would be out sick. plotting the quickest route to the emergency clinic down my street.

turns out, it was just a little gas.