so the other night, i was walking home alone. 10ish on a sunday evening. and a guy walks past me, looks me up and down, and says niiiice. i keep walking. he then stops and starts calling after me. not really in a threatening way. just in a, hey miss, want to get a cup of coffee with me?

but i started crying. it made me feel like crap.

sometimes. i love walking down the street and getting looks and smiles from guys. they're almost always harmless. my bagel guy calls me sweetheart and tells me i have gorgeous eyes. i love that. almost as much as i love the bagels. and god, do i love bagels.

but then. sometimes. it just makes my self esteem plummet. for months i had been feeling less than desirable. and now i'm in this weird nomansland. where i'm desirable. perhaps? maybe. i'm not sure. i think so, but really, only desirable to people that i don't really want to be desired by. but then again, i don't really know who i want to be desired by. i guess it was less the sleaziness of the guy, and more just the. skdjfksdfjsdkf. of me that made me cry.

whatever that sdfklgjdkfgjdg is.